Now, when we left off 8 months ago I was a lonely child staring down metaphorical theatre lights thinking I might have something to say. I do have things to say, but sadly, the darkness stole my voice, and left me wondering what exactly was I doing here, peering off into the depths of the internet wondering if the stage lights were actually hiding masses or just the ever expanding abyss.
It was intimidating.
And I was scared.
Scared, you say? Scared of what? I was scared to let you get to know me, because in the end, I really don’t think I’m that interesting. I’m interested in many things, and I have stories to tell you, but not necessarily my own. I don’t really think that I want a narcissistic space to waste your time with, but I would like to share things. Does that actually make sense? I just don’t want my private thoughts out there to be scrutinized. And, if that’s the case, why write them down if I don’t want anyone to read them? I mean, journals are cheaper and easier to hide under your bed.
So, I said, forgeddaboudit. I left my poor child avatar staring into the bright lights for so long, they might just have permanent damage. Maybe they were deadlights. And I got lost in them.
However, someone has destroyed the big bad, and I am now awakened and a little chagrined.
Sorry for going all slack jawed on you there, it was just for a few months. I’ll dust off the cobwebs and try to keep up.
I’ve found out the secret though, and now that I know it I think I feel much better about it. And, although I do feel tempted to keep it in a box and throw away the key and put little biohazard stickers on it to keep you away, I think it might just be easier to share with you now and get it over with. The secret is, no more writing about me, after this blog. You probably don’t care, and I’m really too shy for this kind of bare your soul crap anyway.
So yeah, failure club is the key, and the amazing secret. It was started by Morgan Spurlock, who I hold in huge esteem for his warrior poet productions (Particularly, 30 days). The premise is to pick a target that is a lifelong dream and say in one year you will be doing it. Then, and here’s the kicker, actually try.
It’s brilliant isn’t it? How much happier would the world be if we just did this instead of coming up with excuses about why we can’t and continue trudging along in our lifelong ruts? I love this!
So, here’s my goal, 52 blogs in 52 weeks (yes, the echo if goals past may have just appeared behind me– it’s ok, he’s with me, just don’t look directly into the deadlights and ignore the dripping jowls –really, he’s not scary, he’s just misunderstood.) and have completed one of my novel/novella ideas so I can actually try to market it. There was a part of me that wanted to add “and look into the wonderful world of acting and sign up for a talent agency” but I think that’s a bit much. I’m interested in the 2nd part most recently only for nostalgias sake, because I used to do it, waaaaaay way long ago and I found it really fun. Wouldn’t working and having fun just be so cool?
Anyway, the first part has always been my true goal, my dream, so this is the one I will dare to fail at. Maybe once it’s in the bag I’ll look back into being an extra somewhere.
So, ready to watch me fail? Excellent! Everyone loves a train wreck! Who knows, maybe you can try too, and then we can fail together.