Can’t stop the cray cray

Well, hello there! Long time no see! Remember me?!?

I have missed writing here quite a bit, but have had the creativity choked out of me by something that is likely my own inner demon, who likes to wear my own face to mock me while playing lion tamer and pushing me back into the dark, sweet shadows of silence with his upheld chair.

Seriously, what is up with that guy? I thought we were buds, and he was going to be my muse, but nooooooooooooooo. No beautiful tortured writing has ensued since last we spoke. I He just tortured my fragile psyche instead, so I’ve curled back up under my rock and there has been nothing but static on channel Liv. I can tune him out with books and TV, so for the past few months I’ve slipped into the catatonia of endless stories, that weren’t my own, and ignored the little devil as best I could. Last stop, Hermitville! Lift up the rock, slip under it. Home.

The problem with incessant hermiting is…it’s a bit boring. I know, I know, what kind of hermit am I that I have to jump out of the darkness of my cave every few months to don a little hat and dance my way out a la the little alien guy from Spaceballs?

A crappy hermit, that’s what. I guess I have identity issues. Or I’m struggling with a split personality of Jekyll and Hyde-ish proportions that are maybe a bit more like something between Nell and Mylie. I told you it was complicated! That’s why I don’t talk about me much. Too much of the cray cray.                                                                                                                     

Anyway…Cray cray here has been bothered with a sand running out of the hourglass problem. You see, back in June I challenged myself to do some things. I haven’t been doing them. And so I’ve been pondering this between the pages and episodes, a little ray from the outside world that has been burning through the hermity darkness.

If you’ve read my blog for any length of time, you will likely know that I am a sucker for a challenge. I am the type of person who hears “You can’t ____” and immediately start wondering how I could ___. Something is impossible you say? I now want to make it possible. So, I obsess think about it a lot little bit. I ponder options. I like to think that this makes me a thinker, or a dreamer, or something equally positive, intellectual and respectable, but it likely just makes me an annoying contrary douche… person.

So the problem is, a challenge was made. Stuck in the hamster wheel of my own mind I haven’t been able to ignore that. I keep trying to run from it, but it appears again and again as the only bright yellow step in a hamster-brain-wheel as black as the shadows I so love (?) to hide in. So, as I obsessed pondered, I’ve come up with a solution to thwart the complete failure of my original challenge. I think that there is still a bit of sand left, and with a little hustle, I could likely make some sense of victory come out of this train wreck. Maybe…

So, here’s the modified version of my 4 part challenge:

1. Write weekly – this would equal 52 posts in 52 weeks to a reasonable person. So far since June 26 2016, I’ve written a whopping 14 posts…so that means if I want to get my 52 posts out, I’m going to have to write 38 posts in the next 12 weeks. Yup, you heard me, that’s 3 and a bit posts every week for the next 12 weeks with June 24th as the official deadline.
2. Finish screenplay – I actually have a pretty good manuscript here so far. So, I just have to finish what I have to make a complete rough draft…in the next 12 weeks…
3. Drawing – ‘Cuz yeah, I’m apparently just not creative enough with the two first challenges. I want to be a better artist, so I’m going to try and finish the challenge here also. Yup – that means 38 pictures in the next 12 weeks…
4. Drawing writing with my feet – Here it gets a bit dicey as I can’t cram a years worth of muscle development and practice into 12 weeks, but what I can do is do it every day for the next 12 weeks and see how it goes…

So, yeah. That’s what I’m going for. What am I thinking? Can I do this? Of course I can!!! Lets hear it for the douchy dreamer! Wish me luck! Just 37 more posts and all that other stuff to go!! Time to get a cray cray wiggle on!

~Liv