Zombies have been the monster du jour of the horror fiction world for past few years. Why are we all so interested? Oh, you’re not that interested?…Um…hmmm…well work with me here….Why particularly, am I obsessed with all things zombie? Maybe because there are so many benefits to a zombie infestation. Don’t believe it? Well here’s my top 10 lesser known perks of living in a zombie flush world:
10. No more day job/homework/housework. We no longer have to put up with the daily grind. Yay! Downside – well, there’s no power and no food, so really, aside from trying to live from day to day, there isn’t really time for much else.
9. World Peace has been realized – With the lack of power and communications, and the plague of shambling dead getting in the way, countries are no longer interested in making war. Downside – your neighbourhood is now a war zone…
8. You no longer complain about being bored – Hey, your neighbourhood is a war zone! You no longer need to watch spy shows on TV or play video games to get an adrenaline buzz, you now get it every time you leave the house. Downside – people now may complain about being stressed.
7. You no longer stress about the things you used to stress about – Because you have a whole new set of things to stress about! Food, safety, shelter, transportation to the hilly wilderness (or do you hunker at home?), that nasty bite aunt Hilda seems to be sporting…Downside – probably that nasty bite aunt Hilda is sporting.
6. You are losing weight and getting lots of exercise – Due to the food shortages and having to run pretty much everywhere you do you are looking good! Downside – the zombies also might think that when looking at you…
5. Libraries and book stores get way more popular – Because Google is now gone-zo since the power is out, people must go back to reading actual books for information. Downside – IMDB, Youtube and all the other sites are no longer available for settling disagreements about the words to a song or who was in that movie…kind of like the 80’s…
4. People begin eating organic, locally grown produce – Because well, locally gown food is about all the fresh stuff you are going to be finding once the stores get their last shipment. Downside – since produce takes time to grow and needs the right seasons and conditions, everyone will initially have to live on canned food and then learn how to grow stuff again…
3. The planet is saved! No more energy will need to go into reducing pollution because society as we know it has stopped large scale production of things. Factories no longer have the man power available to run them so the remaining society members are forced to use what we have, fix what’s broken and find innovative new ways to use the junk we already have. Downside – Duct tape, solar panels and MacGyver DVD sets may now be worth more than gold.
2. People will spend more quality time with their families. Sure, this might be partially due to the fact that random strangers are now armed and dangerous and everyone else is a shambling mess, but Mom, Dad, Grandma and little Johnny have become a tight little unit so every night is now a quality night with the Fam! Downside – This might be because you are barricaded in and all the doors are nailed shut…
1. No more rude people texting/playing games/having conversations on their phones when they are supposed to be hanging out with you – Wait…Am I the only person who still has a beef with this? Oh…Downside – you no longer have an escape of texting/playing games/having conversations on your phones when hanging out with me. Mwahahahaha!
So there you have it folks, it just might be the key to better living… well…if you make it… 🙂
Lives In Stone 