Why am I writing this and why do you care?

OK. Well I’m going to try to explain the first part of the title, but you’re on your own for the 2nd part. Just sayin’. Good luck with that.

So, I decided to write a blog because a long time ago in a galaxy far far like this one was a little child who wanted to grow up and be a writer. Small illustrated books were made with crudely illustrated pictures that told tales of people and animals doing cute things and making friends. Or sometimes just walking around talking (I had yet to be taught about plot). The pages were stapled together in the corner, and my writing career was on. Eventually I got into horror stuff and ghost stories, so I became that kid that told their friends the completely made up (yet strangely familiar) tales that creeped
everyone out and made them wonder why the heck they were hanging out with that kid.

I eventually got all angsty and teenagery and wrote about sad monster stories, and other stories that I hoped would leave the reader with some empathy, surprise or something. At this point I wanted to move you, or entertain you, or both. Or not. It depended on the story. I even went so far as to send some out to publishers. They said no. I don’t think I blame them. I got a “Wonderful! But our publication schedule is
full at this time” for my first rejection which was actually really encouraging. I’ve had a few others. And then I kinda gave up.

Now, from time to time I do still write stuff. But sadly, I’ve allowed myself to mostly give up on my dream. When I think about it, it kinda makes me sad, so I try not to, mostly. So, henceforth, my blog! This is where I will go back and practice my writing chops. Hopefully it will be vaguely entertaining along the way for you, and eventually I shall get to be a real writer (like the velveteen!) and become as rich and famous as Stephen King, Clive Barker…or even Joe Hill. (Who is amazing by the way –I kinda had some
doubts considering whose protégée he was, but wow. He’s great. In fact I even
love his graphic novels, and I wasn’t really much for them…but I think I digress…) OK, so that last part isn’t going to happen, probably. But it is something to shoot for. It is a way of trying to get back my dream. Even if it just means that I’m writing to you, my hopeful constant reader, who realistically may just be me, which I am also totally cool with. Now to figure out how to leave myself encouraging comments.  Do you think that “Woo! You rock!” would be suitable? Nah, you’d probably know that was me…hmmmm….I’ll work on that one.

At one point in time, a few years ago I had given myself the goal of writing 52 stories in 52 weeks. I wrote…*sigh* I think I wrote one. And I didn’t mail it out to anyone. So, now I have a new goal. 52 blogs in 52 weeks. I will give myself until Sunday each week to write in here, and hopefully not spend the week watching TV and playing World of Warcraft after work. (What? Warcraft is fun. Well, if you don’t have a social life…it’s pretty fun.  I think social lives are overrated, but that’s just me.) So, my hope is that if I can manage the 52 in 52 thing it will get me wanting to write actual fiction more (which I
won’t do here, not cuz I think you will steal it, but because that shifty guy in the corner might, and it’s best to be paranoid about these things. Isn’t it?). And truly, that is my dream. I don’t actually want to be famous. I think it would be too stressful. (See, I’m a bit more hermit then socialite. Surprise!) And I don’t actually like attention that much. This is why I didn’t write a blog before, I’m pretty sure no one really cares what I think, sometimes not even I, and so it just kinda semed a bit narcissistic. Then I started reading a few yesterday, and my views kinda changed. Maybe I actually do have stuff to
say. Maybe you might care. But the beauty of it is that if you only get three lines in and then go “meh” and click outta here that’s cool too. I don’t think I can tell. I’m still kind of a noob at this.

I think the idea about writing this blog may also be to write something that might change your thinking, or supplement your views, or even better, have someone refute something I say and make me change my own. (I’m very equal opportunity that way.) I know that I am often wrong, but I need to debate it before I can change my mind. So you may find me debating myself here. I do that too. But again, maybe we will save that for a future blog.

So, do you have any idea if you care yet? Am I just a small child on a big stage staring out into the glaring theatre lights wondering what the hell I was thinking? Yeah. Maybe. But I’m gonna stand here awhile anyway, because facing the darkness it important. And who knows. Maybe I will find that I have something to say.